The best come-back line ever

Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick LAWRENCE, a 22

                    year old male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the

                    middle of the night.

 

                    The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), LAWRENCE

                    was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and

                    public intoxication.

 

                    LAWRENCE explained to our reporter, that as he was passing a pumpkin                         patch on his way home from a drinking session, he decided to stop.

 

                    "You know how a pumpkin can be soft and squishy inside... well,

                    there was no one around for miles - or at least I thought there

                    wasn't anyone around..." he stated.

 

                    LAWRENCE went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the

                    road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his

                    purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his pressing

                    need.

 

                    "I s'pose I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident

                    embarrassment.

 

                    In the process of doing the deed, LAWRENCE failed to notice an

                    approaching police car and was unaware of his audience, until Senior

                    Constable Brenda TAYLOR approached him.

 

                    'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Senior Constable TAYLOR,

                    'I walked up to LAWRENCE - and he's just banging away at this pumpkin...'

 

                    Senior Constable TAYLOR went on to describe what happened when she

                    approached LAWRENCE...

 

                    "I said; 'Excuse me sir, why are you having sex with a pumpkin?"

 

                    "LAWRENCE froze.

 

                    He was clearly very surprised that I was there, but then he looked

                    me straight in the eye and said,

 

                    'A pumpkin? Shit !! - is it midnight already ?!?!?"

 

                    The court (and the magistrate) could not contain their mirth.

 

                    The Geelong Post wrote an article describing this as 'The best come-back                          line ever.'

 

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