ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!

TOO bad he’s not around anymore…he was something else!

 


1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.


2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

 

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.


4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."


5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

 

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.


7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.


8. Virginity can be cured.

 

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.


10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.


11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

 

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.


13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
    Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.


14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

 

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
    Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.


16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

 

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!


Send to the men who need a laugh and the women with a good sense of humor.

 

Do what other don't, save a life. From all of us, Thank you.
Taste the difference between a cup of tea and saving a life. From all of us, Thank you.
With a couple of clicks and a few Euro you can save a life, if you don't do it it's because you don't want to. From all of us, Thank you.
To save a life there is no minimum, give what you want. From all of us, Thank you.
In this App Store you can save a life for 99 cents, but if you want to you can pay 1 Euro. From all of us, Thank you.
Save a life & look at yourself in the mirror, you'll see the difference. From all of us, Thank you.
You pay less saving a life than you would for a doughnut. From all of us, Thank you.
Give 1 Euro, win a fife. Who can give more?. From all of us, Thank you.
To give 1 or 2 Euro, you really don't need to think so much. From all of us, Thank you.
Every 5 seconds a child dies of hunger, you can't save them all but you can one. From all of us, Thank you.
To save a child from certain death by starvation, is priceless. You can do it here for a couple of Euros. From all of us, Thank you.
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