Being Nicked

A police officer  pulls over a speeding car. 

The officer says, 

 ' I clocked you at 100 mph,  sir.'   

The driver says,  'Christ, officer I had it on  cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs  calibrating.'   

Not looking up from her  knitting the wife says:  'Now don't be  silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise  control.'   

As the officer writes out the  ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,  'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for  once?'

The wife smiles  demurely and says,   'You should be thankful your  radar detector went off when it did.'   

As the officer makes out  the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man  glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,   dam it woman, can't you  keep your mouth shut?'   

The officer frowns and  says,   'And  I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an  automatic £60 fine.'   

The driver says,  'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but  took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license  out of my back pocket.'   

The wife  says,  'Now,  dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.  You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'   

And as the police officer is  writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and  barks,  'WHY DON'T You shut up?   

The officer looks over at the woman and  asks,  'Does your husband always talk to  you this way,  Ma'am?'   

I love this part......  

'Only when he's  pissed.'

 

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