A man wakes up in hospital bandaged from head to foot

The doctor comes in and says: "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.  Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the highway.  You're going to be OK - you'll walk again and everything else, but I regret to tell you that your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on: "The good news is that you'll receive

R9 000 in insurance compensation, and we now have the technology to build a new penis.  The grafted willies are as good as the originals but they don't come cheap.  It's roughly R1 000 an inch."

The patient brightens up.

"So," the doctor continues, "you must decide how many inches you want.  But I understand that you have been married for over 30 years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.  If you had a 6-incher before and decide to get a 9-incher she might be a bit put out.  If you had a 9-incher before and you decide to only invest in a 5-incher now, she might well be disappointed.  It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife when she comes to visit him.

The doctor returns next day and asks: "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes, I have," says the patient.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"


"What is your decision?" 

"It looks like she's going for a completely new kitchen."

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